Your wife is in the thick of it (the affair). Are you sure they are not still in contact, your wife and OM? It sounds like they either: are still involved which is why she is giving you the cold shoulder and/or it may have ended by way of OM, but not your W.
Believe me when I say she is still pining over him.
It is normal to have a sense of worthlessness and doubt yourself when you find out your spouse has been involved with someone else. But know the truth. Your W never told you there was a problem when she now says there was. She didn't voice these concerns to you at the time.
Let her know, absolutely 0 contact is to be had with OM and that you want to work on M. Then pull back.
