I'm not making excuses for him or blaming you, but by giving in when he nags, badgers and guilts you into sex, you teach him the lesson that those things are what work. He may hate it almost as much as you do, but if he thinks it's the only way to get sex from you--and if he's desperate to get sex from you--he might never stop. He's got no reason to stop.
The reason it's so important that people are advising you to do the "Get a Life" part is that you don't need your husband's cooperation for that. If he wakes up and decides to get a life himself, so much the better, but even if he continues to sneer at making things better and try to keep the status quo, your life still gets a lot better. As that happens, it's likely he'll notice and and start thinking about how attractive that is . . . and if he doesn't, you still feel better and enjoy life more.
