It's not always so much about the R all the time. It is about the terrible aftermath that one is often left to deal. And you can argue all you want but sometimes that is NOT within reach to change in a day, week or even a year. It doesn't mean you can't adapt and do the best you can within a certain set of circumstances of course.
Clearly it's a personal thing but IMO I think many divorced (or going through a divorce) people don't just have to deal with the R ending but the actual process of a divorce. And that is different for everybody for different reasons.
Bringing this back to John though - he is trying to get closure by one single action and every single action he tries involves his W. To be honest, both C's I see (one is a health crises C so I am not sure she "counts") don't believe closure exists. If it does exist though it's something the individual must find on their own and not rely on anybody to "give" it to them.
Seeking closure via another person is a desperate act to feel better and it will backfire every time.
John - get a separation agreement in place. Why have you not done that yet?
