lost

[sandi2]

Tank, this is probably the hardest thing you will ever have to deal with. You sound like a very caring person and that's great for your children b/c I know they must be hurting also.

Here's the thing, you have to decide what your plan of action is going to be. But I can tell you this much...you can not make decisions based on whether or not she will hate you for it. As long as she is in the A with OM it would not make a difference if you gave her the world and everyone else starved to death. Her brain is not working normally. This is not the girl you went to school with and later M.

I believe in consequences for bad behavior b/c if it wasn't for that....then people would not be very good, would they?

I have tried NC, didnt work. I have stated my boudaries, she doesnt care.

But what were the consequences of her not respecting your boundaries? If she suffers none, why would you expect her to change?

I'm not sure I understand how the NC worked (or rather, didn't work) b/c you said you sent her journals. Were you emailing her when you were saying NC?

I'm glad you finally stop paying for everything. Do not help her finacially at all. She has to "suffer" loss in her life. Loss of family, loss of nice home & income, loss of friends, etc. As long as you try to keep her comfy....she and OM will live high on the hog.

It is so hard but I believe that going forward and focusing on your life with the kids is what you have to do. Nothing will work right now. She is going to have to experience some things first. You cannot control her, but you can control other things.

Congrats on losing 60 lbs (if you were overweight). Hope you are taking care of yourself and don't let your health suffer.

Read other threads and you will learn a lot.

Post often, it helps. You are not alone.