It's been a little over a week and I've been trying to do the LRT. Not sure if it's working but I am going to see my wife tonight for the 2nd time this past week. Last Sunday we were supposed to have a talk about us after she sent me a letter after two weeks of silence that said she had fallen out of love with me and did not trust me to be the man she needed. My response to her was a 180. I didn't beg. I didn't plead. I didn't say I loved her. I didn't try and point out the good in our marriage. I validated her feelings and then said that like her, I didn't want to be in a loveless, communicationless marriage where there was a lack of trust and respect between the two people. I agreed with her that we should see someone in hopes of moving on separately and added hopefully amicably. She responded she hated this and wanted to meet in person. When I went over, she started talking about work and her family. I listened and engaged and chimed in and let her talk. After an hour she asked me what was going on with me. I said a little but not much. And then we had finished dinner and I said I was going to go. That I wanted to talk about us but she had a big day the next day and needed her rest. I got up and left. She sent me an email 45 minutes later. I waited until the next morning to respond. She wanted to chat later that afternoon - I listened and was supportive but let myself go and didn't add an of my emotion to the conversation. She texted me the next day the kind of thing she would when we were ok. I didnt respond. And now I'm going over to see her and have no idea what to expect but I'm ok with myself. I've caught up with old friends. Done things that make me happy (that are not destructive.) I am GAL. Not sure if that means the LRT technique works but sometimes I think a partner needs to see change even if it isn't the specific change they may be looking for. Any kind of change I think gets their wheels spinning. There are things outside of mine and anyone's control and it's hard to let that go but that is the best thing you can do.
