Not sure where to start or end, WAW - #2

[john28]

Hey now! I'm here!

I don't know how to phrase it correctly. The C said that I needed to let go (like others here) and not be her friend (detach as everyone here has said). But, she cautioned me that doing so in a way that seemed cold could be construed as hateful if my intentions weren't in the right place. My W has serious issues with being alone, lonely and feeling unwanted by me. The MC said I needed to "lovingly remove myself" from the situation.

She advised me that if my W came back to me complaining about how unfriendly and cold I was that I would have some ground to stand on after my invitation. "I'm sorry you feel that way, W. But the last time we had a heart to heart, I invited you to come back into this R and M. You chose not to of your own free will. So, I have to move on without you. I will not invite you again. I will not wait anymore. I am choosing to remove you from my life as much as I can."

I had to be doing this for me, and not for her (exactly what you all have said).

I'm hearing it here and from the MC.

She suggested I invite her only to go along for this "self-healing" ride, because up until now I've pressured her into coming with me. She said she didn't expect a different reaction based on my W's behavior over the past few days, but that I needed to offer it because that would be "it" and would give me closure before going dark and detaching.

So I'm doing just that. I invited her one last time. She declined. I have accepted that. I must move past it. I knew she would say no, but the MC said I should do it so I had a leg to stand on should she come back and play puppeteer. I think it was as much for my benefit as it was for my W.

Maybe the MC was way off base. I don't know. My judgement is so screwed up right now. It seemed like a good idea at the time.