I have been on the rollercoaster ride for 6 months now. I have focused on the things i need to. My kids have started to adjust, they behave better then ever before, my house is cleaner, they dont fight and our routine is solid. I have become the husband she wanted. To be honest, i love being a dad! work isnt important anymore, they are. I fight everyday to keep them together in my home. I have a father who is taking me for custody now, i get no support from either of the other parents. I have focused on myself. but she can still take my breath away just by walking in the room.
I cant explain it! i did no contact for 2 months. I didnt call, text or email her. I ignored her texts and calls etc. I sent a journal back and forth to her for communication. I have been out with friends, family and yes even on dates. I just cant bloke these feelings. I know i should, and i try, but i seem to fail. Everytime i turn around she does something else.
Everyone knows about the affair in both of our families. Our home is the centre hub for both families. they all come to our house for events and reunions etc. its why we bought the house to begin with. Its hard to keep something like this under wraps. Her mother lives with me. Her whole family was at my house on Labour Day. Both families have told her she is being stupid, no one can understand why she did this.
To this day she cannot give me a reason. I wasnt abusive, I wasnt controlling, I wasnt un emotional, and our sex life was good ( at least 5x per week). I worked hard to provide for her and our children so that she could be a stay at home mom and be with our kids. Once that need changed she got a job and this happened. She worked great hours and had lots of free time. Now she has just cut everyone out of her life except him and his friends.
Just 3 weeks ago while at a thursday visit with the kids, she cried the entire time. 4hrs of tears in her eyes. She told her brother she hated her life. She told her mother that her and OM were fighting a bit, his mother hates her (i wonder why) and with what happened between us and the kids she is just lost. But she does nothing about it. She has been saying for months she would go get her own place but that hasnt happened, nor do i expect it to.
i guess i am just having a hard time dealing with my whole life dynamic right now. I did put a stop payment on all of her bills. I have provided the collection companies that are calling my house with the OM number and address for them to get ahold of her. i am trying to make it hard for her, but it seems to just make her hate me.
