So, I invited her into the R. She said that she wanted more than anything to move back home, but she couldn't trust me now because of the way I've been "acting" toward her
Not to be rude, but all I can say is what the hell do you smoke before you talk with your wife? Invite her into the R? Why? WTH?
If I were her, I wouldn't trust you either. You're all over the map with what you say to her, though your actions are crystal clear: she has you by the shorthairs.
You need to end this relationship as quickly as possible. Primarily because it's affecting your judgement to an incredible degree. Not just DBing, but common sense. You have a son to take care of. While you're involved with your wife in any way, you are irrational. Tell your lawyer you want out as fast as possible, as painlessly (financially) as possible. Then heal yourself from this insidious relationship. Your son needs you.
You need to end this relationship as quickly as possible. Primarily because it's affecting your judgement to an incredible degree. Not just DBing, but common sense. You have a son to take care of. While you're involved with your wife in any way, you are irrational. Tell your lawyer you want out as fast as possible, as painlessly (financially) as possible. Then heal yourself from this insidious relationship. Your son needs you.
And for your son's sake please re-read your thread again and skip you own posts.
I only invited W to the relationship because MC advised me to. She said that if I was not going to be her friend, I needed to offer that to her this only time to let her know that if she refused my invitation, I was out of there.
Originally Posted By: pinhead
John,
You need to end this relationship as quickly as possible. Primarily because it's affecting your judgement to an incredible degree. Not just DBing, but common sense. You have a son to take care of. While you're involved with your wife in any way, you are irrational. Tell your lawyer you want out as fast as possible, as painlessly (financially) as possible. Then heal yourself from this insidious relationship. Your son needs you.
Thanks Pin. I know that my common sense is just way out of wack right now. I'm doing everything out of fear that she will turn her back on me permanently. I talked to the MC about that, and how fear was controlling my actions. She said that I needed to RESPOND rather than REACT from now on. I've been reacting. Not responding. Responding implies that there is intelligence behind your decision in a situation. Reacting is pure emotion.
That's why I can't be friends with her anymore. I'm emotionally tied into this monster of a R.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, however you look at it - I can't do anything for a year as far as D. I can get a S agreement in place during the interim, but nothing more really. The state I live in requires 1 year S before filing.
I'm taking some time off for the next 3 days to stop all this whirlwind of crap to clear my head. I just need some time to think on my own. Before when I had that (when I went dark) things were starting to become clearer... but again I stupidly allowed myself to be pulled back into this crazy R. I need these few days to rest my freaking body, mind and spirit. I'm exhausted.
The hate is finally starting to come out in me.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
I had the MC session yesterday with just me. I told her all about the crazy stuff that had been happening. She was bewildered. She thinks both my W and I are off our rocker right now, and I agree. I talked to the MC about W and I being friends and she actually said something I didn't expect. She said that she would advise me not to be friends with her, because she didn't think I could handle it.
Quote:
I only invited W to the relationship because MC advised me to.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
