Kissak, I feel for you! I wondered the same things about my son & daughter--would he have a MLC because of his father's actions? Would she become an OW to try to fix the power imbalance? Fortunately, H came out of it before they hit their teens, which is already such a tricky time.
All the same, what I've learned from dealing with my own situation of being abused as a child, and taking on all sorts of worries as a result, is that you can only do the best you can. Even if your H had never had his MLC, he might have been run over by a bus one day, causing abandonment issues which led your son to have an MLC (or whatever example you might choose). The thing is, you can't predict the future, and anyway, it's just a variant of mindreading.
The only thing you can control, is yourself. As long as you're proud of the KIssak you're being, and working on improving what you don't care for about your behaviour, you're doing the best you can. Your children ... they will cope with the hand they were dealt as best they can. They get to make the choices that comprise their stories. At least they will have a mom who loved them deeply and did her best for them--and hopefully that will be enough when they reach middle age.
Try not to be sad about your H's relationship with his kids. Try to keep your focus on the joy that the 3 of you can have together, because it's amazing, the degree to which children are affected by a parent's mood.
