Thanks Trapt...Im trying to focus on me. Got lots to do at work right now. Im trying not to get behind. I try not to cause any drama. I could have said SOOO Much more to him about how he was acting and everything else yesterday, but I sat there, read the paper and bit my lip trying not to say anything. My FB status was simply stating fact! I would love to get flowers from someone, anyone, I love seeing the reaction of people who are totally surprised by getting something. I want that once in a while. If he didnt like the comment, then that was his conscience bothering him!
~swl, Im trying to focus on me and the kids. But it is not easy when the kids see his stupidity too! Im pretty sure I will never be able to figure him out. HE cant even figure himself out. This poor man has issues that he will never be able to fix until he does figure them out!
I have been invited to a bachelorette party this weekend for a friend. I want to go. I havnt told him yet, but I will make plans to go anyway. I need a night away from him.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I know you aren't doing anything to cause it. It's just important to stay away from it as much as possible, they have to have it in one way shape or form....
and yes, you were stating a fact that that is what you desire, but why not state that to him instead of the FB world?
Quote:
HE cant even figure himself out. This poor man has issues that he will never be able to fix until he does figure them out!
Exactly
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I have been invited to a bachelorette party this weekend for a friend. I want to go. I havnt told him yet, but I will make plans to go anyway. I need a night away from him.
I agree, you should go! Even though you are getting the short end of the stick, you should at least tell him so plans can be made to watch the children.
Make sure you go and have a wonderful night away from all of this!
Actually Trapt, I did state that to him. I have lots of times. I tell him all kinds of things I would like to have. Things that were discussed before he came back. How like sometimes I would like for him to just take a walk with me down the road. He never feels like it. He walks all day is his excuse.
Im sorry, sending flowers to someone else because they are having a bad time...and I cant even get a hug when Im in tears???? I feel that he doesnt care at all for me anymore. I feel like he hates me here lately. I have tried to be the best wife and mother that I know how to be. He says I act like Im perfect and a goody two shoes, just because I go to church, and I dont drink, or curse, I dont try to cause problems with others. I just try to be the best person I can. Honestly, this is who I have always been. Its not like I became this person over time. I was like this when he married me!
I need to just focus on me. I will probably tell him tonight about the party Im invited to. He will probably have issues with that too. Im sure he wont be happy to be at home with our kids, while Im having fun and he isnt. Although I do it all the time for him.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I caught my H looking thru the classifieds last night> I asked him was he looking for a dryer...ours went out the other day...he studdered a bit then said "yea, im looking for a dryer". I think he may have also been looking at places for rent. Just wish if thats what he was going to do, that he would say something about it. I hate him pretending. Just go if thats what you want!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Ugh, Im tired of pretending to be strong. Im tired of smiling when all I want to do is cry. If he is going to leave, I wish he would get it over with already so I can start healing again and moving past all of this.
Just having a sad morning
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
(((Kissak))) You ARE strong and you will make it through this.
Thank you Upside. I dont really feel that way today. I keep having waves of doubt. One minute I feel strong and ready for anything, the next I feel like crawling under a rock and crying the day away.
I have been seriously considering talking to him this weekend. I keep fighting with myself on whether to act ok with things or just tell him exactly what I think! I dont know what will make me feel better...probably the latter at first.
I hate going through this again. I hate that my kids will have to go through it. I know my son is going to be devastated. My daughter will probably just go with it. She is old enough now that she has her own opinion of her dad. Both of my kids depend on me and always come to me with their problems. My H asked me one day why they always go to me and not him. I think its because they trust me. Its sad they cant do that with their dad. I hate to think about how this is going to affect them when they grow up. Will my son go through his own MLC? Will my daughter ever be able to trust a man? So many questions and thoughts. I will try my best to give them the best! I do fear that this will make them push their dad away. Im afraid my daugther will go back to pulling her hair again. She has come so far with that I really dont want her to go back. How to deal with my H and any women he may bring into their lives. He see's nothing wrong with it. They will need time to heal. He doesnt get it.
So much to think about.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
[quote=kissak Will my daughter ever be able to trust a man?[quote]
This scares the hell out of me! The other day, my D12 was joking around with her older cousin, who has a very cute boyfriend, and my D said "he is just dating you for apperances...I am his SECRET girlfriend that you don't know about. He really loves me not you." Mind you, this was said as a joke (her cousin is in college!) and everyone laughed - but me. Is this what she thinks is okay because it is what her dad is doing?!
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
It is scarey. It does make you wonder what the kids will pick up from watching a parent do something that may not be right. I have always tried to tell my daughter what I believe marriage is supposed to be like. Im hoping she will be able to trust a man someday. But Im afraid it will never be her dad that she will trust. Its bad to say, but he never has any interest in doing things with my daughter. He never goes to her school events. He is always tired or too busy. SHe sees this and it hurts her, he doesnt see it at all.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Its bad to say, but he never has any interest in doing things with my daughter. He never goes to her school events. He is always tired or too busy. She sees this and it hurts her, he doesn't see it at all.
Kissak, I don't think I've posted to you before, but I do read along. I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now.
I see that your D is an adolescent. Was your H always so disinterested in doing things with her, or is this a recent development? I ask because my H began to pull away from the family and me when my D's were about that age and beginning to develop. I often wonder if their burgeoning womanhood had anything to do with his withdrawal from us.
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
