Going straight forward...antlers 6th thread.

[CityGirl]

How are you doing today, Antlers? Are you taking any biking adventures this weekend?

[antlers]

CityGirl...thank you for your posts. It's hard for me to get my brain around this...that she and I were so close for so many years...and she's become so heartless, and devoid of a conscience. I have to go sign papers in the morning releasing me from any liability for, or any claim to, the new house that she is closing on tomorrow afternoon. She has been so done with me for so long...she has a super big jump on me there.
I can't imagine me being so easily capable of, or just being capable of period, so utterly being done with someone that I once cared about so much...like she has.

[antlers]

Hi Bridge.

Thank you for posting. Yeah, it's a tough hit. It's gonna take me 7 years to pay off the money that I have to borrow to pay her completely. Thank God I have my son...I am saddened that I lost custody of my youngest daughter. I am going slow and steady with her, and I hope things will continue to improve. I was certainly surprised when I saw what my oldest daughter had told the GAL the derogatory stuff about her mom that she did. I bet that her mother was very surprised when she saw it also!

[antlers]

How are you doing today, Antlers? Are you taking any biking adventures this weekend?

I've struggled, but I did OK under the circumstances. Hadn't been on the bicycle lately, and I'm gonna be working this weekend.
My son and I went to the State Fair this afternoon though, and we had a blast. Seeing him with a genuine happy smile on his face means the world to me.

[antlers]

Hey soleil.

You're right. The stuff that has gone down over the past couple of years is something that I would never have believed would ever go down! She's not ashamed, she's not embarrased...she's proud! The agent that she's using to buy her new house is the same one that we used 10 years ago to buy the house that our family lived in. It's hard to stomach that she's done what she has' and has become what she has. I have so many feelings, thoughts, and emotions...I don't know what to do with them...except hurt. I don't know how I could ever fully trust another, after all of this.

[antlers]

Good mornin' IR...yeah, reality has hit me clearly in the face.

Her sense of entitlement is unfathomable. My family was torn apart, my children have suffered tremendously, I've spent 5 figures on legal fees that could have been used for my kids, I've suffered the loss of all my hopes and dreams for the future, and taken huge emotional and financial hits, while she broke the marriage vows...and she got rewarded trendously for her actions. I tried as hard as I could to prevent it all...and I got punished for my actions. It leaves one numb, and in a state of pain. She's happy as a clam. She's euphoric. Losing her son meant nothing to her; she was completely willing to put the kids through a trial if she didn't get her way.

[antlers]

soleil, concerning the child support that I'm obligated to pay her until my youngest D is 18...yes, she is 'entitled' to any increases in my income that I might sustain over the next 4 years. Great and fair system...huh?

I do have moral debt in being the way that I used to be... But I had already started making the changes that she'd wanted me to make all along BEFORE she left. It didn't matter. She had others involved at that point.

I do feel OK about me doing everything within my power to keep this from happening. I know in my heart that I did do that. It means nothing to her, but it means something to me. And I have made huge changes, good changes, along the way, in myself. I feel good about myself now, being the way that I am now. I wish it hadn't taken me so long though. I feel like I could have prevented much pain and suffering, for all of us.
In order to learn from the past, one must forgive it, but it's hard.

[antlers]

gabbysmom23, thank you for posting. I do feel a sense of injustice...in a HUGE way! Yep, nothing's unclear now. It's a done deal. And thank God that I have my son! PTL. I intend to send my 13 y/o daughter a card soon, letting her know that I fought just as hard to keep from losing her, and that I'm saddened that I wasn't able to! I want her to know that I didn't give her up. My son's mother didn't seem bothered at all when it was made clear to her that I got custody of our son...she was only concerned with how much money she was gonna get out of all of this!

I hurt...and she's euphorically happy! Go figure.

[soleil]

She's not ashamed, she's not embarrased...she's proud!

Grr. How frustrating. The good thing is you know the things you did wrong in the past so forgive yourself and in the future, work on those things and don't repeat them.

Someone once told me "divorce is an opportunity." D royally sucks but in a way, it is an opportunity. You are starting a new chapter in your life and the pages haven't been filled yet. It's kind of exciting.

[ImprovedRomeo]

I hurt...and she's euphorically happy! Go figure.

This is our time to hurt and grieve. Her time will come later. Karma's a real bitch.

My 2 cents for you would be to consider her gone, out of your life like a sist infection on your back. No talking, texting, etc. Don't tell her you're hurt, don't give her the privilege of even knowing that you exist. At this point you owe her NOTHING.

I know this a tough time for you and we're all feeling your pain through your words. Take time to acknowledge and accept it and then pull yourself up by your bootstraps, meet with a financial planner build and plan a roadmap for your life 2.0 and start working the plan. You've done it once you'll figure out a way to do it again.

Hang in there. You've made it to the top of the hump, it's all downhill from here.