My New LBS Reality

[Goodfight]

Thanks PEI

[Goodfight]

I hope this works. Here is the link to my thread.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...255#Post2077255

Here is the latest. But around an hour ago, H texted D13 his address.

eed to vent.

Update. Last night our D13 told me that the guidance counselor told her that H had called the school and talked to her and told her he wants all reports on our daughter. He wants copies sent to his apartment of her report cards and other things like if she gets detention or something.

Well, she had a form that needed to be filled out for the nurse yesterday and it asked for both of our addresses if parents are separated or divorced. So I told her to text him even though he would be sleeping and ask for his address (since I still don't know it).

Well, he gets up around 3 a.m. and when we were getting ready for school and work she checked her phone and he never texted her back. So she tries to call him so she can take the form back to school today. He doesn't answer so she texts him again and his response was they already have it and she told him okay but she needed it for another form for the nurse. Same response comes back, they already have it.

Now remember, he has no rights to her. He gave them up over a year ago in May. I do let H see her when she wants to see H. I was looking at this as a positive thing....H being involved with her school work last night but now he just seems to be wanting a reaction from me!!!

Do I contact the school (which I told them a year ago in May) that H doesn't have rights to her at all? Is this just another way to p*ss me off by not answering her about his new address?

I purposely have not asked her for the address for a month now, but the more I think about it I want to know the exact address and where she is going to be when with H. I know the city, but not the street address.

Why can't he just pick up the phone and call me and ask for copies of her report cards or ask how she is doing?

We were doing good in March and now that his family is more involved (I think they had something to do with this) is H doing what they are telling to do? There is no OW but it is like there is because H lets his family tell him what to do and when to do it.

I really thought things were going to get a little better. H going to the Dr., taking AD's again, getting involved with our D's school stuff but I'm wondering now if this is just another game with him to get a reaction out of me as far as not giving our D13 the exact address.
_________________________

[ericmsant2]

it appears that I am pathetic

Are you pathetic? You tell me. Why are YOU standing? Is it pathetic to fight for what YOU believe in?

Example: my oldest son has never been the greatest student – never. I BELIEVE in all my heart that he will be a success in this world and I STAND by that belief. Does my belief make me pathetic? I think NOT and better yet….I don’t give a chit what someone else thinks. He’s my son – no one else’s and I CHOOSE to believe in HIM.
S
tanding for WHAT YOU believe in is not pathetic…that is unless YOU feel it is.

I know who I am and what I believe

Do YOU really? Have you begun to dig a little deeper? Have you begun to realize your strength? Do you feel it? Or is this just surface digging?

Hey look IB – your having a few bad days. Okay…feel it, let it go and get back on the horse. This is not for the faint of heart.

You may not see it but your really a very strong women. Does this cr*p get to us. Yeah…what in life doesn’t. Live IB…live…
Breath the fresh air, look up at the sky and admire the stars, look at your kids and realize the great job that YOU did. You have a lot in your life to be grateful for. Sometime we just don’t look hard enough.

Seek and ye shall find…..

Keep looking IB - their is a light at the end of the tunnel...

[irishblessings]

Do you ever have those moments when you realize that God works in mysterious ways? Today was one of those days.

I had been delaying contacting one of my H's roommates and one of my good friends from college. We had just reconnected with him in February and he had just gone through several years of a horrific divorce. His wife left him and 3 children - devastating. H had asked me a few weeks ago if I had contacted him and I said no. He had said he was getting ready to contact our friends - his roommates. So, today I email one of these men - and find out that TODAY in the morning H had sent the message about the marriage!!! He told them that he had moved out in June and it didn't look like he was moving back.

So...this friend emails me back and immediately talks about how divorce is NEVER the answer - it's devastation to families, etc. He says "IB - his detachment from the kids indicates much more going on then just the marriage" - He says that he had just completed a course in Catholic Leadership and that he was calling H tomorrow and coming down to see him next week. I told him that I was so appreciative because H needed friends - and I needed to hear from someone who had been through this. His message was such a blessing!!! He said take care of yourself - surround yourself with good people - preferably peers who know what you are going through. If people have differing opinions about your standing - remind them that they are not in your shoes and do not have the vantage point of the whole picture.

God is good!

[iluvme55]

Amen....he is a good GOD.....couldnt of made it this far without him.............many blessings to you..IRMA

[courageous wife]

Sounds like a very wise friend IB!

[punkin]

Irish -

Just remember my friend, NO EXPECTATIONS. They only get you hurt. Your friend is wise and means well, but MLC'rs only want to hear what they want to hear. Even if he gets through and gives your H something to think about, and I'm sure he will, don't expect him to admit he's wrong.

I truly believe my H would have come back some time ago, if not for having to admit to everyone in town that he was and did wrong.

Just don't set yourself up for hurt. Sorry to rain on your parade, if I have.

[ericmsant2]

God is good!

Amen IB...amen....

Things do happen for a reason. Things do happen in the time that they are suppose to happen.

Be still and listen IB...

Be still....

God Bless,
Eric

[irishblessings]

Very low right now. This is the weekend before my anniversary and I had such dreams for us to take a trip - all the things you do for your 25th. Instead I am home alone tonight. Am taking the kids to Nashville tomorrow for a little get away. For some crazy reason I think that I'll feel better after Tuesday has come and gone. Right now I am trying to just let myself feel the pain - because I have a reason to feel this hurt.

I catch myself time and time again trying to rationalize all of this. I am constantly questioning myself "what if he is right? what if he has never loved me? what if he HAS been MISERABLE for 25 years? what does that mean about me? Am I unlovable? Am I unworthy? Have I been incredibly selfish?" He is NOT unhappy right now being away from me. He thinks he has finally discovered what has been wrong with him all of this time - ME. There are times when I don't think my heart can take another day of this hurt.

Fun Friday night, huh?

[punkin]

Irish,

Take a deep breath, and try to enjoy your getaway. I know how hard this must be. My 20th is coming up, and we are set to go to court the day after. It's very disillusional.

You know in your heart that your H has not been miserable for 25 years. You are just the scapegoat to keep him from blaming himself, or more to the point, dealing with himself.

I have had all those same thoughts and feelings. When I go somewhere, all I want to do is go home, and when I'm home, sometimes I'm so lonely and sad.

You are not alone Irish. Today, as most Fridays, I am still wearing what I went to bed in last night. Curling up with a book and trying to sleep to escape.

Hang in there. We're just a couple of party animals.