Well, New Guy and I are having fun together. I am appreciating who he is. Still feeling him out with regards to the whole MLC situation. He seems to really like me.
Not paying as much attention to X--I guess he is having some operation and OW is still around. However, D tells me things that seem to indicate OW will disappear soon.
I miss X sometimes but for the most part, he is not part of my life any more.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
OW has moved away. This makes me happy because it means that D has even less contact w/her. That is my primary interest with regards to X at this point.
However, OW and X appear to still be an item, as I heard X tell D that OW may be back to visit next weekend. I just want her to disappear completely.
I am enjoying R w/New Guy.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I informed X that New Guy may be around on the days that he picks up D.
X is having minor surgery. EVidently he has no friends to help him as his parents are coming.
OW will be around this week but her reach to D is now significantly lessened. Given that she persistently refuses to disappear, I wonder if there will be a M at some point.
I was thinking about New Guy. There is such a difference to be with someone who WANTS to be with you. I was thinking "This is the way that it is supposed to be."
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
X had surgery last week--problem occurred and he was in ICU and ILs say it was very bad on Thursday and touch and go (however, X and entire family do tend to exaggerate around illness, which is one of the points of friction between us). ILs actually called me (haven't spoken to them for years now) to inform me of why X cannot care for D. X is apparently stabilized now. I do not know what to say to them when I see them, except that I am sorry that X is ailing.
OW is still around--evidently returned for this situation.
My question is: Do I visit him in the hospital? I do not want to run into OW; do I do it only if I know OW and ILs are not going to be around? Do I go only w/D?
I am not trying to reconcile, although I have to admit that part of me wishes he would turn to me.
And a lot of feelings have arisen here.
I will add that X met New Guy and New Guy and I have been quite happy together. But again, a lot of feelings arise here.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
forward, Treat him just as you would a friend and/or neighbor. He is ill and most likely will be in the hospital for a period of time. I would go w/my d if I were you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
New Guy's ex wife died. He understands that the kids need to understand what's going on when something is wrong. So if I took D, he would get that.
I did tell D (because she wanted to know where he was) and she cried, but I explained to her that he is going to be OK.
if nobody else takes D, I will, but not just yet as I am not sure that she needs to see him in his current state. I will wait until he is more stable. ILs may take her; if they do I will not go.
This is a situation that tugs at me, but I fear I would be unwelcome if I were to go w/o D. And that would open up sad feelings for me. And if I'm unwelcome, I'm not sure that I would offer any kind of comfort anyway.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Just my two cents, but if he brought the kids to see you, and you truly appreciated the act, then I don't see anything wrong with you reciprocating. You are there as transportation and caregiver of his D, and hopefully, as a concerned friend. That's all. No sitting by the bed all night holding his hand, just a visitor. I vote Go.
