I'm pretty sure there is no OM involved, in fact I'm positve so that's not an issue.
The problem is me, I have made mistakes and I accept that, but I just want to put things right, maybe I have been too keen to put the wrongs right but who wouldn't.
I am still in the marital bed, she is in another room, and I am not chasing after her, I have backed off her totally, focused on me and the kids and all seemed ok, then I f**ked up last night, we had not spoke about "us" since last Monday, but obviously it came out again after she found out what I had done.
She is hurt, I know that, I just want to help her, but that's something I cannot do, I just need to think about me and the kids, but it's not easy!!!
I'm just quoting that now so that when you circle back to this a few months from now because you've been doing what you FEEL like doing instead of following the advice given to you, you will know that you were warned previously about this.
How many threads on this forum have posters who say those same words only to find out something different later on....
I am one of these. Wasn't positive, but felt really sure that there wasn't. Reality is a B!tch.
Listen to Robx. It hurts like hell, but he's dead on.
Reality is that your wife is likely having a sexual affair with another man. The reason you don't do anything with her, is because she doesn't want to be seen with you.
would you mind discussing your wife's first affair.
how long did it go on that you were unaware? what were the obvious signs that in retrospect you could kick yourself for not noticing? why did she decide to end it and give you another try?
just out of curiosity, if you realize your job negativity affects your personal life now and has before in the past, why haven't you found a new job?
Thanks Guys, you don't realise how much your support helps
Robx, you called it so right, what you are saying is what I did last time, after I got my head together, and we got back together.
I am still pretty sure that nobody else is involved, she has not been going out that much, just the once and she went in her work clothes, hardly making an effort for somebody else?
Last time she told me it was somebody to talk to, I wasn't there for her and this guy was, an old friend?, seems the same script for most of us on here, anyway I totally detached, she went on holiday with the kids for a week, and when she came back told me she had missed me and wanted to make it work, it did but then it slipped again, I think she is scared that this will happen again this time?
I'm going to start and get on with my life, I get loads of invites to various functions through work, but never go, ususally I cannot be bothered, but no more, I'm going to make an effort and start to get a life, my kids are my kids, I don't want to lose my wife, but if I do, I do, I cannot control that.
Detaching is good too. And if she "misses" you again, don't be so quick to come running. I bet there are other women out there who will accept you for who you are. It gets so tiresome to have to tap dance all the time for someone.
It's been a great weekend spent loads of time with the kids and had no "situations" at home.
But there has been a few small things said that has me thinking?, every day this weekend she has asked me how my tablets are and how I'm feeling?, to be honest I feel great and have been really happy in myself, wonder if she has noticed?
Also today she was wearing a really revealing vest top around the house and she kept pulling at it when I was around?
I cooked sunday lunch for the kids and she said that she just wanted some veg, Ihadn't even asked her if she was joining us, we all sat at the table together like a family??
Then when I went for a run, she asked why I was running all the time, just said to lose weight,am I reading into this too much or is she showing an interest in me??
I have not responded, haven't paid her any compliments, although she did look good!, not chased her, or asked any questions, just got on with what I'm doing.
But it feels like she is more interested in me, I could be wrong, but she is asking the questions, she is wanting to join in with us, it does not feel like somebody who wants out that badly?
I am not getting carried away with anything, if she goes she goes, but I sense a softening, just a little, but its a start, I just don't want to get my hopes up?
Why walkround yesterday, in tight training shorts and a low vest, in a house with somebody she hate's??, or is she just trying to play games with my head?, in a way she has!!!
1 other thing I have thought of, she still wears her wedding, engagement and eternity rings, am I clutching at straws here or does this mean anything??
If I wanted out I would not be wearing them, I would want to distance myself away as far as possible?
I have not mentioned it, to be honest I haven't spoken a lot to her, but why wear them?
yes you're clutching at straws, she may just be maintaining appearances for the time being to deflect questions from everyone who asks about the two of you.
You don't know, so don't make any assumptions either way.
