You know what I think it was that made me blue again? Expectation.
Just before he went overseas he was contacting me, making huge promises to buy me things, saying things like 'look after mommy for me' to S, and just getting closer to me. And I let it go to my head
Now he's all off on his own mission again, completely not bothered by any of the things he said, and not even making much eye contact
So I'm blue. I'm just not one of those people who can switch off their expecations after something positive happens I just love this man so much, dont ask me why, after all that hes done, i should hate his guts, but i dont.
Yes i get angry when he crosses a boundry, and i put him in his place, but no matter how much this man does that I still love him - WHY????? Whats wrong with me!!!!! Why can't I disconnect! i was doing SO WELL a little while ago, and I feel like I'm back to square one - being all emotional, and just ...soft.
I dont know if i can make it through...today is one of those days...
