We all get this point in our own time. Be gentle on yourself, it will come when it is suppose to come. It come when you are not looking for it.
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I've sold myself my independence by tearing down my image of her and doubting even if I ever loved her to a degree that I would put up with all this crap.
Do you really believe in what YOU sold YOURSELF? I would suspect that you did love her. You were married for 10 years so I have to believe that you had some level of love towards her.
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Yet the warm feelings about the M return occasionally and I'm left to parse out whether its the marriage (ie companionship) I miss or is it my W.
Missing someone, something...is normal. It does not mean that YOU did not love her. What is love? What is commitment? Only YOU define it Crushed. Only you. According to your signature, you have three children. Something tells me that they were conceived in LOVE. Not in anger and not in hurt. Respect your M for what it was. Change how you look at it. Look at it and focus on the good times. YOU decide how you look at it.
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I'm not sure where my W is in the baking process but I keep opening the oven door - she may never get done and the kitchen keeps getting hotter. I'm tempted to jab her with a toothpick now and then
Does it matter where she is in the process IF you are looking at YOU?
You are right she may never be done. Are you done looking at yourself? Are you done trying to be the best you can be?
I leave you with this...
Love is kind Love is patient Love is LONG suffering
Love conquers all!
You know crushed...you can love something and not want to be M to it. AND you can also love something and respect it's choices and be grateful of the time YOU had it.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
