The last few years mine didn't bring much to the table, its funny but I thought we were growing closer, we were having S, we laid in bed and talked every night. Looking back its clear that we were not connecting like we once did.
I miss my stbex that I met and married, not the cheater who filed for D
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
The last few years mine didn't bring much to the table, its funny but I thought we were growing closer, we were having S, we laid in bed and talked every night. Looking back its clear that we were not connecting like we once did.
I miss my stbex that I met and married, not the cheater who filed for D
Exactly. It became a norm without realizing that it wasn't right. Then they drop the bomb and we can't figure out what was wrong.
It's the slow deterioration that goes unnoticed. My previous rice/steak comment was about that, except I was going to list all the wonderful and positive things about my W in the past prior to the bomb only to realize that I did not want to "lie" about the "truly" wonderful person she is.
MP I dont feel you were judging me, no need to apoligize, TH is just blunt and to the point kinda guy. CG My W made a great beer ca chicken, but that wasnt tough to do
In any case, where i am at today, I can look back and see what my negatives were, but the W also focuses just on those negatvies, not her problems just what mine were.
So I do focus on where she is still at, angry, bitter, selfish, self-centered, pissy, moody, hateful, childish, manilulative, controlling, immature did I leave anything out? I have seen her like this off and on throughout our M, so its easier for me to keep this mindset up tp help me down my journey.
Her positives(right now) she's not nagging me right now. There I said it, thatswhat came to mind the first thing i thought of a positive.
I miss the companionship, the physical stuff - not just S, but hugging, kissing, and I miss my best friend. She has turned so cold now that all of that is gone. We now make plans on doing things without each other, and if the other will be able to hang with our S. Sad days these are.
Me: 46 WAW: 43 M: 8.5 yrs, T: 9.5 yrs Best friends b4 marriage: 2 yrs EA/PA: 8/10 Told me she doesn't love me anymore: 9/2/10 Kids: 2 stepdaughters: 17,15, Son: 6
I understand where you are at. But I have found that I dont need my W to be in my life to be happy! Everyone likes the companionship, but that can be accomplished with someone else. I think everyone gets scared of starting over, what is out there for me? Its like the fear of moving to a new town when your a kid, you leave the friends behind, teachers, coaches that your are comfortable with, and your scared because you dont know what else could be out there? maybe you find better friends, teachers and coaches and you thrive with your new start in life? have you ever thought about that outlook?
Absolutely. In fact, I am on marriage #2 now, and even though it looks pretty darn grim, it's not over until it's official.
My outlook is pretty good, and this forum has helped immensely. I'm not too worried about the future - I've got my son, and may or may not have my W as part of my family, but I know I will be happy again.
Me: 46 WAW: 43 M: 8.5 yrs, T: 9.5 yrs Best friends b4 marriage: 2 yrs EA/PA: 8/10 Told me she doesn't love me anymore: 9/2/10 Kids: 2 stepdaughters: 17,15, Son: 6
