FTR - Grit can never ever...ever again say that I am the only one that uses "f@ck!"
Was that 4 f bombs? Holly f*ck!
On a serious note...he is right. Live it!
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
And that ^^^^^^ is the shortest f@cking post I have ever seen you write.
You and PEI were separated at birth I think...
Not quite sure how that works ... a 5'11" Puerto Rican NYer and a 5'2" Irish Canadian ... now that would have been an interesting upbringing! Temper anyone?
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
I will say from my experience that my own situation would be better if my D13 was on speaking terms with my W.
My wife views her broken relationship with our D13 a major roadblock to the possibility of reconciliation. If I had to do things over I would definitely try to keep the kids more neutral.
If there is to be a road back for the WAS/MLC it is easier for them to travel that path if it is not so bumpy.
Now this is an interesting take on your D13. Not sure I agree. Your D13 has better boundaries than you do. That we know as a fact.
I don't think that your reconcilation has anything to do with their relationship.
My wife and D24 have always had a rocky relationship. Love/hate I would say but although my wife has blamed me, I really think I have nothing to do with it.
MHL you end up in a bad spot if you have to choose between wife and D13.
I am not sure you could keep your D13 neutral if you tried.
MHL, I really appreciate your posts, because I'm wrestling with much of the same.
A few pages back you gave a good description of what detachment meant when forced to see your W on a regular basis. Having dependent kids amps the needed discipline to a level I'm not prepared for quite yet. I like the approach for those of us maintaining frequent contact but also attempting to set boundaries.
The LBS cycling is spot on. As is the feeling of being in limbo. I've sold myself my independence by tearing down my image of her and doubting even if I ever loved her to a degree that I would put up with all this crap. Yet the warm feelings about the M return occasionally and I'm left to parse out whether its the marriage (ie companionship) I miss or is it my W.
I'm not sure where my W is in the baking process but I keep opening the oven door - she may never get done and the kitchen keeps getting hotter. I'm tempted to jab her with a toothpick now and then. Hope I didn't crush the analogy.
M / W: 43 D8 S6 M 10 years / T 13 years W admitted EA/PA: 10.6.09 Separated in same house 10.6.09 W moved out 2.27.10
