I personally think my XW did have a PA either prior too or during the divorce as this would explain a lot about her emotional abuse towards me for years. And I know that she was at least looking to dance with Mr. High School friend from 36 years ago. I can guess why.
The problem I have is if I ever "see" physical evidence of a PA I will not know how I will react too it. I know this seems shallow but it's how Im wired and how I was raised.
If I ever see her with another man I have no clue what I will do. Apparently you are in the same boat with me. I hope we make the right choices if that happens.
I guess I used the "not knowing" as a guard of hope that it didn't happen. If I ever find out otherwise then my security blanket of ignorance will come down and I will have to deal with my darker side.
It is something I both dread and wish I could get over with at the same time. Like waiting in a dentists office for a root canal. If she did it then I wish she would just get it over with and tell me about it. Not happening though as she is now a compulsive liar about everything.
Sadly though, it's my own fault for not detaching 100%. We both have the power to let them go and let what they did go as well. I wont be in the forgiveness stage for quite a while (if ever). Im not even sure I have hit the anger stage yet (God help me). I think I am still grieving my marriage.
I will follow this thread as I have interest in how you handle this situation. Good luck.
Me:48 W:55 M:22 T:23 Bomb:19Nov09 S:15Jan10 D:11Feb10 EA:Confirmed on 20Apr10 Fast track to her divorcing me
