Okay - well how exactly are we making the Mrs. mad? Nobody is poking her with a stick or making demands. In fact it is quite the opposite.
She asked S to give her more money in "good faith". He is well within his right to decline that request. Good faith can't only apply one way and so far that is all it has been. HOWEVER it is perfectly fine (IMO which I realize means jack) to say... "sorry, I can't complete your request for one any further exchange of money for one line item BUT if you care to complete the settlement now ALL money can be exchanged".
She asked - he said no and offered her an alternative that would help them both. S has no benefit in "good faithing" her MORE money but it is a leverage point. There is a reason Mrs. Romeo hasn't asked her attny first but went right to the source. Even she must know at this point she looks greedy beyond sin. If a single woman can't hack it on close to 3K per month AFTER her rent is paid something is wrong. She has no car payment or credit card debt and S covers her health insurance in addition to paying child support and contributing to the daycare costs of their daughter.
She won't be enraged because she knows she is wrong. This is not speculation - if she knew it wasn't "wrong" she would have run right to her attny as she always does. This time though she decided NOT to do that. IMO that is a HUGE indicator that is really the crux of the issue.
If she makes noise tell her to hop on that fancy bike you paid thousands for and tell her to ride around until she finds somebody who cares. Honestly, I know I sound horrible but I am so sick of this woman bossing you around. She left the home ya'll share 5 months ago without any money or a place to live and now she is in the same place again AFTER getting thousands in support for nearly half a year? Pffft!
I hear you CG!! I really do and no your opinon really does matter to me.
She just left me a voicemail in a voice that I haven't heard for a loooong time. She genuinely sounded down and upset. She just said she was wondering if I had an answer for her because she really needs to know soon.
I'm torn about kicking her when she's down...I know she won't think the same way if she was in my place- you guys are right about that but it's just how I feel...right or wrong.
Last edited by ImprovedRomeo; 09/15/1010:51 PM.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
My question for you is this, are you going to always bail her out? She needs to deal with this herself unless you are using it for some sort of leverage. Just my .50cents.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
OK so I took your guys' advice and replied to her with what you said along with "I'll keep DD until you have a suitable residence set up". I know it was the right thing to do in order to stop her from taking advantage of me- wow I sound like a girl who woke up in someone's bed after a night at the club. Sometimes I wish I was a girl...LOL
She replied with:
"I don't think so. I will pick DD up on Mon as per the plan"
That's her way of saying "@Q#$!@ %^&%** $!@$!% @@#$324 !@%!$!@#$".
Yes STBXW I know this makes you very angry and because of that now you'll probably go to your L and ask me to appear in front of a judge.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
LOL! She really is a piece of work. Second time in a week she has dictated what will be happening. She's ballsy, I will give her that.
Where exactly will she be taking your daughter? Since she won't be getting any money she won't have a place to live.
Essentially she is angry at you that SHE
(A) chose to live in a house without a legal lease therefore the possibility of being asked to leave last minute was a viable one
(B) failed to save money over the course of six months of receiving hefty support payments for any sort of emergency
(C) figured she could pull your heart strings a bit and hose you for more cash and for the first time in her life hit a stumbling block called S's backbone
Nice!
Crappy parenting on her part - now her daughter will be uprooted for a third time in 6 months during the same week of starting a new school AND changing custody plans... all because she chose not to plan for emergencies with the ample support she gets and chose to live in a house sans lease.
Inform your attny of this. Turn off your heart and turn ON your brain. And plan to get some sort of motion filed to get more money ASAP.
It's a terrible shame - she had a chance to end this once and for all and her greedy and stubborn nature took over (again). For somebody that contributed next to nothing to the household finances AND was unable to manage being a SAHM she has nerve. Wonder how she affords all her trips since she is so broke?
I'm sorry - I know this hurts you and makes you feel bad but from an outsiders point of view I think it is unfathomable she had the audacity to even ask THEN be so rude when her request was declined. You have been rather kind in what you have posted here but I think it's fair to say you have shielded her from quite a bit.
Your W is projecting her own shortcomings on you. It is like when I exposed my W's affair. She was frothing like a rabid female dog at me, but it was all because of her poor choices.
The only way you get through this in a timely manner is to have your L get the ball moving faster. Your negotiations with your W are futile as she believes she will have the upper hand on you always.
She sounds like a spoiled brat.
You are a good father and man with high morals and dont deserve this "guy on a yoyo" crap she pulls with you.
