My H had 3 affairs. I did not find out about any of them until the last one when he admitted all 3. The last one was a relationship. He pushed and pushed at me with emotional abuse until I finally kicked him out and he went and lived with her for a year. When he asked to come home he admitted to all three. The first had been several years prior and with a woman who at the time was my best friend. It is hard to recall what exactly we were going thru at the time that would cause he to reach out to her so long after the fact but my guess would be a combination of his childhood, work enviorment and the stressors of raising a family. The second was a work OW as was the third. By then he was dealing with our sons no longer needing him.....he had no one looking to him for guidence. He only left for the third but he claims he didnt leave I kicked him out. All three were the damsal in distress types. So....this is why I am concerned. We had a good first 12-15 years. He was kind and loving but always had to be doing something....During #1 and #2 I swear I never noticed a change in anything, possibly an increase in affection...
I know he is out of the tunnel so to speak and sees the damage affairs can cause and will not go down that road again but I just am no longer sure if he was/has been trying to get away since the beginning or if this is all his own garbage? Does anyone understand any of this. I am sorry I am not being so clear. Currently he is kind, helpful and everything he does is for "us". when I tell him I am unhappy and just waiting for the other shoe to drop, he says not to worry he isnt going anywhere ever again. I am so heartbroken if this is all there will ever be I feel like I have wasted over 35 years of my life which doenst leave much left that was real
