You don't sound like a downer. You sound like somebody who is courageous enough to be honest about their feelings even though the feelings are very dark.
I can say I honestly thought about ending it all during the worst of my situation. Between my Lupus spinning out of control, the anxiety attacks, the financial strain, the litigation, me almost losing my business due to my poor health and the devastation of my H leaving for his mistress, well, let's just say it seemed like an appealing option. The good thing is we are still here. We are still breathing and we both have lots of amazing people in our lives.
As for your dad... he loves you and doesn't want to know his daughter is hurting. My mom would have killed my H by now if she could have figured out a way to get away with it (I'm kidding but don't mess with a southern mama). My attny always joked and said he could deal with any judge or attny with ease but put an angry parent in front of him and he is fearful! LOL! As he said... when a mom sees their kid going through a horrible divorce the mom is not real interested in the laws or policy or procedure - she is interested in creative justice
This is all a hot mess. It's probably a safe bet to say that I am more a hot mess than you Either way though we all love you and we are going to see you through just like you do for all of us.
Nothing I can say will make you feel better but know we are here!
