See, that is why "laying down" certain line items in anger (going to see an attny or demanding your W get a job) pan out to mean jack crap. You allowed your emotions to rule you (as you often do) and your W is very familiar with your patterns so she knew exactly how to finagle the situation in her favor.
In 24 hours there were explosive arguments, empty threats, a fake suicide attempt, the kidnapping of your son, the request for a weapon, Retro, an "agreement" and sex.
Your W tagged you. Women are masterful at using sex to keep a man where they want him to be ESPECIALLY after they dumped you. You don't see any men here talking about how they used sex to get their W's to do what they wanted, do you? That is because men don't do that. Women do though. But "tagging" has been discussed at length around here.
Letting go and detaching are a state of mind. You talking and posting about letting go and detaching are a clear indicator you are not even close to either. That's fine, we all do things on our own timeline but don't fool yourself that "feelings of love" were found after the craziness of what you posted that just so happened to end in sex.
It is frustrating because you don't listen. You came to this agreement over the weekend and the attny should have been the first person you called on Monday. Now it's Wed. afternoon and your W is already making noise about her lack of money which will be her catalyst to demand a new agreement. Had you gone dark and not chatted w/her on the phone you would have at least given yourself more than 2 days to get your bearings, wise up on the legal/financial front and at least decide if you are ready to get on the path to healing.
No judge in their right mind is going to allow a SAHM w/o an education to be 600.00 short per month in the interim of a permanent agreement. You had a very small window to get something in writing before she had time to think too much and you blew it.
Your W thrives on drama and is more than happy (and quite skillful) at sucking you in each time. You are mistaken drama for love and "attraction". She is "attracted" to you because you are her puppet and she thinks its' fun to watch you dance when she gently pulls the string.
It is of little concern to me that you seem to bypass most of the advice women give you but perhaps you should rethink that stance. Especially women who have been through the emotional, financial and legal wringer for years with their WAS. Don't discount massive amounts of combined experience offered to you from forum members from all walks of life because you don't like what you are hearing.
Have you followed up with your dr. about the panic attacks? The dr. and the attny should be the two most important tasks on your "to do" list.
I understand you are sad and hurt but do not allow your emotional pain to lead you to continued foolish and reckless choices.
