Okay, but there must have been aspects of her personality that lit you up. They may not be quantifiable, but they are why you fell in love.
In terms of what the WA brings to the relationship, that can be part of the problem. The things that lit you up are no longer doing that, or even occurring so you are left with a cost-benefit analysis of the relationship. Every spouse thinks they bring more to the relationship than the other even though that might seem absurd to their partner.
When I do a cost-benefit analysis regarding my WAW, she doesn't do very well as a partner, and that would have to change for me for the R to ever work again. But when we are connecting, and we still do, the spark is there. We make each other laugh. I can still send her into a giggling fit and still do it pretty often.
