The EA so far is several emails and chats with her ex-fiance who lives in Brazil. It's a damn fantasy and she knows it. I told her if I get wind that he's hoping on a plane to the U.S. to see her I WILL for divorce and sole custody. Perhaps I'm naive, but I consider him a minor distraction that will be broken off should she decide to R. She's said that if she commits to the M she will give me access to everything.
The more immediate issue is potential new local EA/PAs. On that point I made it abundantly clear that I do not endorse an open marriage and if she can't agree to that condition she must leave. There are no if, ands, or buts about it. Since your in IT you also know that there are methods for passively gathering intel. Trust but verify is now my new motto.
What do you mean by letting go? I've told her that I will not stop her from leaving and I meant it. I've shared financial information and child custody plans. It got her attention pretty quick and caused her to pause. Last Sunday, she asked me if I had a target move out date in mind, I said three weeks, she panicked. I told her I expect some sort of decision within the next week or two. What I guess I'm trying to do right now is talk her down from the ledge and start to see our situation in a more rational way without me pressuring her. I'm trying to give her some space without her actually leaving but I will force the issue if need be.
Me-43 W-41 S-3 M- almost 7 W ONS affair - 8/9/10, confronted 8/30/10 Separation - Pending My sitch
