I haven't logged onto DB in six months so I thought I'd just post a little update on my sitch.
The D was final in May. 3 months start to finish, which was the minimum waiting period in CO. My ex is marrying the OW in two weeks, just four months post-D. I try not to obsess about the forthcoming nuptials but it's hard sometimes.
The other day I came across Gypsy’s post from 2/3 that I had printed out and it reminded me of how important this site was in my recovery and maybe it’s time to post an update and give back to others if I can.
She said:
Quote:
Remind yourself that you don't hold onto someone who doesn't want to be with you, someone who doesn't cherish and treasure what you share.
Just like people agree to be married, feel good about the agreement divorce. C'mon.. getting engaged? Like a little old Italian woman I know would say, "What a dope!", followed by a smack upside the head.
Divorce, like marriage, begins in the mind.
One last thing, this type of emotional chaos puts both parties in a fog. His with his distraction or focus on someone new. You with an overwhelming sense of pain, hope and betrayal. By choosing what is healthy your fog while clear bringing a new perspective about what is most important and best in life.
Be proud of all you've done right, your belief in marriage, hope for a future together. And most of all, knowing what is best for you. A healthy relationship takes two. And a good life, takes one.
So… fast forward seven months and I have actually GAL - finally! I really enjoyed the final months of my S18’s senior year – basketball season, graduation, and just last month, dropping him off at college. I am cherishing the beginning of my D17’s senior year and our special times together before she leaves for college next year. I joined a pool (billards) league in June and play once a week around town with a new group of friends. I try to accept all invitations and stay pretty busy. Of course, occasionally I still feel sad about the D and XH’s choices, but that’s out of my control and I am confident now that I am OK and will be OK!
