My New LBS Reality

[ericmsant2]

I am becoming a little more comfortable with where I am right now.

Yippee…

I believe the only chance I have of having any hope for my M is if I completely detach.

Be careful here IB. You detach NOT to save YOUR M..YOU detach to save YOU. You see, while our spouses are lost and trying to find there way..they become angry. Angry at themselves, which they tend hurl our way. Sometimes it is verbal, sometimes it is emotional i.e. an affair, sometimes it is even passive aggressive. So YOU detach to protect your emotional well being.

Also, some of that anger is directed at OUR actions i.e. controlling, manipulative, etc., which is warranted. It is these issues that we need to look at. And look at them BECAUSE as a result of this pain we now understand that some of the things we did in the M were wrong. So we work on them. Not for the M (yes it starts that way) but for US. So that IB, can really become the person that IB wants to be.

I have to be confident enough in myself to give him the room he needs.

Just trust yourself IB. Just be - it really is that simple.

I need to keep working on my self esteem and being more disciplined financially and physically - but I AM working on it.

BINGO – It does not just happen overnight….IB…slowly…slowly…

That's my digging for today

<insert picture of Eric smiling and saying “good job IB”>

what we had was genuinely good. I believe that.

It probably was and IS worth fighting for.

I believe that I am a good person and that I am an excellent life partner.

As long as you believe it that is all that matters.

How does that sound for someone 5 months in?

Honestly, it sounds like someone who is 10X’s father along that I was at 5 months. Hell at 5 months I was still spinning and getting daily 2x4’s.

Eric