Sol, if this is really how you feel then make an appointment and get it done! There's no shame. I know a number of people in my life who have gone through this and are so thankful they had AD's to lift them up during these times. I know a number of people on this board have told you of their successful AD experiences too. Don't let yourself get dragged down to where you can't fight back any more, go and talk to your doctor about what you need. Get it done!