Update. Yes, the saga still continues. Maybe unbelievable to some, just surreal to me.
After much contemplation the last few weeks i have reached some personal decisions on my marriage. Things are not getting better folks and its as if she is biding her time. No intimacy for over a year is one thing but the beginning signs of continual disrespect and signs, snappiness, arguing, and signs that she loathes my presence at times is well, a little too much to take for someone as accomodating as myself. I have taken off my rose colored glasses and don't like what i see, in her or me. I have been a patsy and i deserve better. She has some agenda she will not share. It is clear she has no use of me other than a financial partner, caretaker, and looking after 'her' children.
Well enough is enough. I've set a date in my head, my birthday next May 2011. That's the effective throw in the towel date. This life can't continue. All my effort until then will be securing home finances, paying off stuff, completing house renovations, loving the kids (as always) and preparing for possibility of separation and/or divorce. In the meantime i will do the 'attractive' thing for me and enjoy my life a little, be effectively separated since i might as well be. I will heed some of the advice from posters here and deem to live 'attractively'.
Wish me luck if you would. Mentally i have accepted the situation and am at ease with my decision. There is no us anymore. Truth be told, if not for the kids i would have left long ago. My sacrifice is for them in the meantime, as it has been always. If things accelerate before next may so be it. I will be ready.
