You are an honorable man. You should be proud of that.
Do what feels right in your gut. Do what you feel is best for the kids. Anything else, well, this aint a party.
So, you made it through the first part. I'm proud of you, my friend.
But, come on man, a pink tutu? Really? A New Yorker?
By the way, anytime you want to get a nathan's dog and ride the cyclone, you let me know. But you have to leave the tutu home. I have a rep to maintain. LOL!
Eric - Awesome Dude! I have nothing to say good or bad about giving up the marital home. I had my home 5 years before I married and it was easy for me to want to keep. I can totally understand why it is best for you to leave.
I so love your comment about your W discussing with your supervisor!
In regards to alimony...I was frightened with the prospect of paying $1200 a month if she lived with OM or $1800 a month if she lived on her own - for a period of 5 years. And I was told that it could become indefinite if she were to experience extreme hardship or it could be changed if either of our financial situations changed. The good thing is that paying spousal support is tax decuctable. It is income for the person receiving it. I weighed my risks and offered to buy her out so that alimony was not shown on the divorce judgement. During the haggling, her L threw in that I could claim both kids for deductions and tax credits if we would settle at $40 G. I was then able to refinance my home to pay of that and all of the division of assets.
She married a year later which most likely would have ended alimony, but had I been paying, she and OM may not have gotten married so as to continue with me paying them.
I hope things go as well for you as they have for me. My XW was at my home the last 2 days having me fix her photography software. While I was focused on that, she helped keep the kids in line. We are both on the same page about the kids. It seems like foreever since we ever had any talks about our marriage. I know that she regretted her choice, but she is probably happy now - I dont ask about that.
I know you have been told this before, but you have grown immensely by this experience. You know how to calmly talk with your wife without much of the prior macho man taking over. It is better to be friends than enemies.
If I am ever out your way or you out mine, it would be my pleasure to meet you. You are a good man Eric.
Great job with the way you handle everything! As far as the house goes, I think most people stress the "do not leave" thing early on when there are children involved because that can have a negative effect as far as custody goes.
At this point,(being in negotiations) there is nothing wrong with you not wanting to live there. I totally understand the feeling of wanting to start new.
Originally Posted By: KerryK
I hope things go as well for you as they have for me. My XW was at my home the last 2 days having me fix her photography software. While I was focused on that, she helped keep the kids in line. We are both on the same page about the kids. It seems like foreever since we ever had any talks about our marriage. I know that she regretted her choice, but she is probably happy now - I dont ask about that.
Patience and time work wonders. I've been getting along pretty well with my ex too. She stopped over unexpectedly last night and we talked for a while.
Keep going Eric, things do become so much better no matter what the outcome is.
I've been getting along pretty well with my ex too. She stopped over unexpectedly last night and we talked for a while.
They do peak out, Trapt, don't they.
Yeah, I don't know what it is/was. It's a good feeling to no longer really wonder any more. Not to sound insensitive, but it doesn't really matter at this point. Life is pretty darn good.
I do see that her anger is gone. She looks and acts much like her old self in many ways, and she is much more involved and caring when it come to the kids. I am really happy about that last one. The selfishness still very much exhists, however you can state your point or boundary when it comes to that and usually she will listen to and respect it.
It takes a lot of time though.
All I can say is keep going Eric. You are going to have those moments, but you'll will make it out of this and be so much better for it regardless of what happens...and ANYTHING can happen.
Just keep going man and remain open to any and every possibility that may come your way.
Your supervisor is the other man???????? OMG..... that is awful......you are one hell of a man in my eyes.......my SIL is going thru the same thing as you, my daughter has rewritten their history together....havent been happy for yrs...I dont love you anymore...blah blah blah He is heart broken...I need to give him this place where he can read and learn all about MLC I dont think he believes me when I tell him about MLC.... many blessings to you....Irma
Her supervisor is the OM. I mean I am a hell of guy just not that much of a hell of guy.
You should direct your SIL to the site. Most will not agree with MLC. The reality is that ALL of us have our own Mid Life awaking, crisis, indentity crisis, whatever. It is HOW WE deal with it that matters. Some run..run into the arms of another..some are more constructive and work through the issue BUT it really does exist.
Thank you for stopping by.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Hi my friend . You are by far the most profound and deliberate person I have had the pleasure of knowing (this is a compliment). And combined with these qualities, is a compassionate and humanely generous human being. It will come back to you tenfold my friend. Keep moving forward.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
. You are by far the most profound and deliberate person I have had the pleasure of knowing (this is a compliment). And combined with these qualities, is a compassionate and humanely generous human being. It will come back to you tenfold my friend. Keep moving forward. 