Dealing with Jealousy

[g450]

Nvrgivup,

I am actually divorced from my XW. I did not find out about her online EA until two months after the divorce and although I suspected a possible PA at least once, I had no proof. So in a way, ignorance has been kind to me in that regard. I do know that she has at least tried to date one of her old High School boyfriends post-dirvorce by asking him to go to a HS renunion dance. That was painful to find out.

But my feeling is that if I did find out, I would write her off completely. As of yet I still hold that 5% chance that she may come back to me. But I honestly believe that will never happen. It's a fools hope and I know Im just keeping myself from completely dropping the rope.

I feel the same way as you regarding my jealousy and although I am not a violent person, I can see myself losing it if I ever find out about a PA with an OM. I even posted a thread similar to yours way back when and got a bit of advice there.

To my eyes I feel like finding out about a PA would be similar to going into combat. You will never know if you will be a coward, a hero or somewhere in-between until you are actually in the situation itself. And that is my fear. What will I do if I find out? What will I do and what will I feel if I see her with another man or find out from friends or family that she has a boy toy?

Honestly, Nobody really knows the answer too that unless it actually takes place. And sadly, I feel like many here that claim no PA took place, simply just did not find the evidence of it. In most cases there is almost always another person for obvious reasons.

I can also tell you that dating post divorce did nothing to change those feelings in me at all. The only good part that came of it is that I have sworn to myself that I will never feel jealous of another relationship no matter what. The downside is that this will probably keep my heart from being 100% in my next relationship and I have already decided that I will never remary because of my D.

I can only pray for you if you do find out. Try to put yourself in the mindset that it may have already happened (and it may very well have) and go from there. Prepare for it now. That's all I can tell you.

Anyway, sorry for the rant.