I've wondered the same thing as Young at Heart, and this too: it sounds like you're having sex against your will. Is that the case? If so, stop.
You mentioned that your therapist told you that you don't have to have sex when you don't want to do it (she's right) but that's not "valid" at home. Here's the thing: your counselor isn't saying that you have a right to refuse sex, and so when you refuse sex it will be accepted with reason and kindness as a valid decision. Your husband isn't going to like it, and you shouldn't expect him to like it. But it's a matter of holding on to your own integrity even if you have to piss him off to do it.
Now that said, I don't want to insult anyone or cast aspersions where they're not warranted, but something about the way you wrote your posts above made me wonder whether your husband takes no for an answer. Does he physically force you to have sex? That's a different level than what we're talking about here and outside the realm of relationship advice in my opinion--that's a matter for the police and the divorce lawyers. If that's not your situation, please understand that I'm just making sure.
