I invited her to councelling, did 5 months by myself. It was helpful.
However I never could get her to be interested in her relationship with me. It seems she's just gotten used to treating my badly, and there is no reason to change it.
Its funny on the "cat" bit though, when females do start getting into me, its like she can sense the attraction and she'll throw out a crumb.
I don't like talking bad about her, but feel that the info is useful to others in these situations.
Basically the way it is presented to me is:
1. My wife is not mine 2. My emotional and physical needs aren't her responsibility 3. She's single and can do whatever she wants to do
During her affair, she stopped doing all her "wifely duties". During and after it, she flipped our situation so that I was the bad guy, gave her positive affirmation to the wrong she was doing. Since then, there have been so many reinforced bad behaviors, there is no reason for her to quit.
I learned about the affect of those on someones life, and understand I can't really have her around circles in which I wish to remain, she'll mess it up for me.
Also her act was tearing up my confidence, which was messing up my erections. So when that happens to a man, he starts to pay attention.
Anyway, since "I'm single", and I know it will truly be better to be fully single than with a wife who doesn't want you. I'm making new friends, and it has helped tremendously.
Oh... All my kids ( even the ones with her ) want me to have a "girlfriend" who treats me well.
Anyway, without a forum like this one, i would have been possibly stuck for the rest of my life in a terrible emotional place.
