One of the things that I strongly believe in is "visualization and verbalization." That is creating strong mental images of what you want and also finding a place in private (my car commutes to & from work) where I can verbalize what I want. This includes self affirmations so that I feel better about who I am and what I want to become.
Another thing that I believe strongly in is creating a plan of action for change and writing it down and then monitoring your progress at periodic points. I have some pretty huge weight loss goals and have quarterly goals that I want to try to achieve and that I monitor my progress against.
While I don't think that cheating on a spouse is a good idea, you seem clear in your reasons and clear in what you got out of it. I hope that it was as theraputic as you claim. It also sounds like you want to move on and end your marriage. It sounds like you have decided to move on. It sounds to me like you are taking more steps to explore moving on.
Figure out what you want, create a plan for how you intend to achieve the desired change and then go out and make it happen.
If you ever decide to rebuild your marriage, you might want to figure out steps that can bring you and your wife together on an incremental basis, but one that will build and make the two of you closer. John Gottman has an interesting 5.5 magic hours a week program (in the old link I will post next it was just 5 hours, as he has added some additional things.) Article sumarizing Gottman approach
Good luck to you.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
