I have said that to him. Few months back in fact. Told him I was not happy and I no longer felt any hope for us. He took all the blame. Said it was his fault we have no "romantic" relationship. Said that he had "damaged" that part of our relationship and he thinks about it every day. That he feels guilty. He did start counseling at that time. Went to 3 visits, lied about the 4th (said he rescheuled but never went just cancelled) and has not been back. Guess he didnt like what the counselor had to say.
I truly believe he wants me to end this so he doesnt have to be the bad guy. Our children are adults but went he walked out 9 years ago, his relationships with them were pretty much non-existent. I dont think he could live through that again. By me ending it he thinks he will get a free pass. So sad as our sons are much smarter than that. He doenst get that it would be up to him to make relationships with them on his own and if they are lacking that is his responsibity to fix.
I would like for him to move out. I think it would be a good thing for both of us but financially it is not realistic. He quit his 25 plus year job to get away from OW and went back to school. He is now a teacher which was his life long passion. But at age 53 he has only been teaching 4 years and gets layed off at the end of every school year. so far he has been lucky and got rehired every time but this next year is supposed to be the worst yet. I know I shouldnt care but after 35 years that is hard. Plus he will take 1/2 of everything. I have not yet come to grips with him taking half of my retirement when he blew his on the OW. Not fair. He wins and I will be left with all the debt we currently have as it is in my name since he was a student. Even if he were agreeable to pay 1/2 the debt, on his salary he would barely be able to make a rent payment and necessaties. The laws in CA are brutal and I would most likely end of in BK court. I know people have it much worse than me I am just letting you know some of the garbage I am sifting through and why making this decision is so hard.
