Thanks! I actually feel okay about the sitch. At least I have clarity. I really don't think that DB is an option here. My W waited until the smoke cleared before pulling the trigger. So she has thought about this for a while. I get the feeling that she is worried about how I would react since she asked twice if it was okay for her to begin legal action.
I will proceed with dignity and probably a little Cary Grant as TH would say. I meet with a L on Thursday. If it is as cut and dry as I think it will be I would like to work with a Mediator, but if I can recoup some $$ then I may dig in a little. My W has a low threshhold when it comes to $$.
I still plan to GAL and see my IC to work on issues that contributed to my sitch so that I am a better me in my next R. I have this soothing calmness now and feel like I can truly focus on my work, boys and life. I just want to pass this bump in the road as fast as I can and move on with my life.
I have this soothing calmness now and feel like I can truly focus on my work, boys and life. I just want to pass this bump in the road as fast as I can and move on with my life.
Do you know why you feel this way now?
Be the Captain of your ship.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I love my W, but hated the sich that I was in of not knowing if I was not doing enough, doing the wrong things, or doing too much. I did what I thought was right with what I thought I was reading from my W.
I think she has been waiting a long time to tell me that she wanted a D, but was afraid of my reaction since I was prone to show anger in the past. She asked me twice in the email if I was okay with her proceeding with the D. I think I responded the way I should have, which is a 180 for me.
The idea for using Mediation is so that we can actually see eachother and maybe converse, though I am not sure she wants to do this. She seems pretty head strong having her own attorney. She seems to not want to hurt me and not to see me.
I don't want a D and would love to work this out but the ship appears to be on a dead end course in that direction. I will continue with the 180's and following through with GAL and emailing her as planned. Coach, what is your advice this captian needs consel.
So my plans tonight is to workout, finish a work project at home and then go buy some Bounty dryer sheets....hey they are working for TH and his sitch.
How does she leave the home and take family money and you not have a problem with that? Have you firewalled your finances now?
Do you have a sep agreement in place?
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I love my W, but hated the sich that I was in of not knowing if I was not doing enough, doing the wrong things, or doing too much
Because you were doing things for all the wrong reasons. You were waiting for something to happen, when it did you felt relieved. Your wife is leading you. She even asked for you to take charge.
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She asked me twice in the email if I was okay with her proceeding with the D.
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The idea for using Mediation is so that we can actually see eachother and maybe converse, though I am not sure she wants to do this. She seems pretty head strong having her own attorney. She seems to not want to hurt me and not to see me.
You are going to "converse" at mediation? WTF Dude?!?! Why do you think she doesn't want to hurt you? SHE DOESN"T THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT!!!
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I don't want a D and would love to work this out but the ship appears to be on a dead end course in that direction.
Don't have that vibe. Have faith yet confront the brutal reality.
Lead. Know your path. Confidence, poise, strength and honor.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
We had a pre-nup and also set-up seperate bank accounts before we were married and never changed them. The money that she has in her account was earned by her and used to pay-off school loans and car. I was okay with that because I was the major bread winner, she was in school with the goal to be debt free when she graduated....I know door mat.
Coach, why should I take charge in going for a D? I thought about it many times, but didn't want to flip that switch. I'm fumbling in the dark w/o communication, phone number, address all of the things that everyone else on this site has to effectively communicate with their spouses.
My path is to bust this D, but how? Do I email my W and tell her that I will file this Thursday. Do I tell her that I agree with the D, but I am not ready to discuss the D, which would show weakness on my part. I feel handcuffed and I am frustrated with platatudes. I need a 2x4 and then some smacked across my head. I need clear advice concise advice on how to lead.
Of course my W is leading...she wants out. I attempted to show 180 and confidence in agreeing with her and told her that I deserved to be with someone who wants to be with me. I could have hired a PI to find her then grebbed her by her hair and drag back to my cave like a cave man, but we have laws against that....and I wouldn't do that anyway.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
It's always good to better yourself. 180s, ones that truly make you work on your flaws, and GAL will help you beyond your M.