I have been full steam ahead. I love the advice, but I have decided that the GAL and letting go of the rope is what has to work for me now.
Maybe she does take those moments to get her "fix" of me, but then again...maybe she doesn't. Right now, I choose not to even think about it. It is distracting. I spent 9 months doing all the wrong things. If and when she is ever ready, I will listen. Like the advice I was given, I am enjoying my picnic. I am working towards what I feel is best for myself and my sons.
I am ready to get the Separation Agreement in writing, and legal (should be done this week). I have told her that is what I want, and she is on board with it. I have told her what I want, more time with my sons...50/50...and to make some alterations to the "verbal" agreement we had etc. Especially finances, I have been living in hell for 9 months...in many aspects. The financial part has been draining. I want to be free. I made the verbal agreement while playing the role of "nice guy". I had guilt, hurt, pain, fear etc Had a lot of hope, that things would be OK. I can't do it anymore, I can't live this way and have an independant and healthy household for my sons - when I am poor, misrable, miss their mom etc.
Heres hoping for a bright future...wish me luck.
Thanks everyone! I will always check back in from time to time.
Gr8, you really are Gr8..thanks man! If you're ever up to Canada and want to wet a line...let me know..lol
