I know with my kids when they first get home they want to grab a snack and maybe watch a cartoon before I get home and get them started on homework(usually after dinner). Does your babysitter know she is supposed to get their homework started or does she use the time to let them unwind?
Just thinking.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Kat, they unwind with me for an hour and then they are supposed to get the homework done with the sitter so STBXW doesn't have to worry about it at 6:30 p.m. when she gets home.
It worked great last year, but D8 didn't have much homework. So far this year, it's slipping. D11 already has three missing math assignments and now D8's issues.
Yes, it's a concern and I'll watch as things go on. I am going to wait and see though before calling and saying anything. I don't want to spend the next 10 years playing "gotcha" when something goes wrong.
That being said, I will admit that I'm not totally upset over this. Sorry, bring out the 2x4s, but one of the advantages of being a married couple is there are TWO people there at night to handle homework issues. STBXW wanted to be primary custodian so she has to deal with this seven nights out of 10 every two weeks.
I'm not rooting for the kids to fail. I'm just saying it's nice to see "consequences" sometimes.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
As long as you don't get like my ex that might be ok. I have custody and so often I will have all 4 doing homework each night and I help as much as they need me(and that I am able). The minute the kids slip in anyway, ex is all over me.
It is hard but I signed on to be a parent. I don't claim to not make mistakes. I am blessed that the boys will often help the girls, especially when I don't get the "new" way of doing math. lol I get to help with the college level classes that S17 is taking which fortunately isn't too far out of my realm.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Down the road it's going to be interesting. STBXW just isn't very good at math, English, etc. She barely got through high school and only lasted one semester in junior college. It's part of the reason she always resisted going back and finishing a degree -- which dooms her to middle management -- she doesn't think she can handle the work.
As the homework gets more complex for the girls I'll be the one better equipped to help.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Kat, they unwind with me for an hour and then they are supposed to get the homework done with the sitter so STBXW doesn't have to worry about it at 6:30 p.m. when she gets home.
Let me see if I've got this straight: They're with you for an hour EVERY day, their homework isn't getting done, so you're just going to let it be the sitter's responsibility????? WTF???!!!
Originally Posted By: ClingingToHope
I am going to wait and see though before calling and saying anything. I don't want to spend the next 10 years playing "gotcha" when something goes wrong.
How long are you going to wait and see?
Originally Posted By: ClingingToHope
As the homework gets more complex for the girls I'll be the one better equipped to help.
Oh, my fault. Gonna wait until it gets more complex .....
Originally Posted By: ClingingToHope
I'm not rooting for the kids to fail. I'm just saying it's nice to see "consequences" sometimes.
I am all in favor of consequences, but NOT to the detriment of the children. CTH, you may not want to admit it, but you'd love to say "I told you so" to STBXW, "Here's what you get for divorcing me." But you're not ready to admit that.
You've got a lot of mirror work to do .....
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
As the homework gets more complex for the girls I'll be the one better equipped to help.
I dont help my kids out on their homework except if they have some small vocabulary questions regarding instructions. My parents never helped me. Kids are taught in school to the level of their homework. They should be able to do it without much tutoring from parents. What parents need to do is enforce consequences if they slack off. I know what their capabilities are and can detect easily if they are being lazy.
I used a bit of personal responsibility reminder logic last year on my son when he told me he did not want to do his homework one night. I said "That is your choice. But remember what will happen tomorrow when you dont have your homework done". He grunted and went and did his homework. Sometimes they need subtle reminders of the consequences that could await them.
I also dont go digging through their packs to figure out if they did their work. I have them bring it to me when they are done and sign it off.
CTH...You need to grow a spine and take charge of this NOW! Who gives a crap if your STBXW gets her feelings hurt?
I am once again going to say I am with Drew and Kerry. You are a parent. The girls are almost half your responsibility (which is what you wanted and also why you have less child support payment) so you need to help at least half if that is going to be your logic, but really they are fully your girls as much as STBXW's and you should help with this situation. You are going to have to work together sometimes for the girls. IT SUCKS! and IT IS NOT YOUR CHOICE! but your girls are starting down a path that if not fixed now will hurt their educations for life. There won't be a reason to worry about money for college because they won't be going if this continues.
You may say "oh it is just a few missing assignments", but if they are taught now that they can get away with it, then down the road it gets worse...believe me I deal with those types of kids every day. You have to help teach your girls what is important. If education is something you value and want your girls to value then you have to teach them.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
Well thank heavens you all swung the 2x4's because I had to sit on my hands to keep from typing very snarky comments to all of that. THANKS DREW! LOL.
CTH, you have them for a whole hour. If you want to make homework the priority it should be then have them sit in front of you and do their homework. When it comes to education it doesn't matter which parent has what responsibility on paper...all that matters is that those girls get the education they deserve!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Thanks, mishka!! Thought for a minute I was the only one outraged ....
And just to clarify, I agree with KerryK, our responsibility as parents is to make sure they DO their homework, not do it for them. Some/most teachers don't even want you to correct obvious mistakes you see, as they use homework to determine how well the students are grasping the material.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Hey I agree with you on that. All of the kids do pretty well but D11 right now can have some great hormonal breakdowns when she makes a mistake. I take it as my job to get her calmed down and refocused and give her guidance when she asks. With math, we are drawing some of these story problems out as she doesn't always understand what they are asking for.
Your girls will remember that you gave them structure on the homework front.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
