You definitely had every right to be angry. Although I’m with you and wouldn’t want OW around my S, I think the biggest issue here is that he made out S to be a liar. I was so mad when I read that. In some ways, I’m not surprised that OW was around. Like you said, if it was something serious (which obviously it is if he was not willing to sacrifice that R to save his M), but per your agreement (and really just out of decency in any co-parenting agreement), he should have told you. It makes you question too if he told S not to say anything which is why S “forgot” who it was, when obviously he knows OW. Poor S – no little 3 year old (or any child) should be put in that position. Unfortunately, you can’t control H and his actions (you can’t make him tell the truth), but just be on the lookout for this kind of stuff and try to help S deal with it all too. Luckily it doesn’t seem like he feels stuck in the middle yet.
Regarding the parenting class, is there any way around it? Yes, he should take the class, but if he’s not following thru with it, is there some statue of limitations that allows you to move around it, so you can get this thing finalized? I don’t get the ring thing though, but like you said, it just helps him keep up the front.
You know, I think there will always be a soft spot in our hearts for our H’s, no matter how bad they hurt us. I think though in time and with the right guy who shows us what love actually means (meaning thru the ups and downs and the daily grind & sticking it out despite struggles but also enjoying the best times and the firsts…all of it) that will fade and we will be able to open our hearts again. It’s not a romantic view of love but a realistic view and I think we’ll find it someday...
Me 27; H 28; S 2 Togeth 9; M 4 Sep 11/14/08 EA OW1 Sep 08 EA OW2 Mar 09 EA OW3 Jun 10
