I went ahead and cheated. I DID NOT WANT TO, but after suffering 4 years of neglect and abuse, I refused to get drug any further down.
It gave me clarity, in that I KNOW there are plenty in the world who will take me on and treat me great.
It also gave my legs a ton of stability against my wife's "tear downs" she was issuing.
The elimination of sex with me was part of a process in her power struggle. Of course I "lose", because she took everything away.
It was doing no good to hang in there and weather her storm, plus the "use it or lose it" bit. I was not going to have my sex drive and sexuality reduced or removed for the rest of my life.
My wifes attacks and affair and lack of concern for me decreased my confidence. A once firey passion and supercharged libido was stripped to nearly nothing. Of course ED set in, and its mostly mental as most of you should know.
You must leave an abusive situation.
Anyway, I know cheating may be dishonest, but if the other camp has decided respecting you and the marriage does not mean anything anymore, and pretty much has you put "on hold", while they go through and feast in their life... At some point you must take matters into your own hands.
For some of us having short term affair or friends with benefits, is a short term solution while we wait on our spouse to hopefully get back to us. And if they don't, we have already rebuilt our life.
