Well here I am now. Moved over from DBD

[soleil]

^ I meant not so much her age but about "never married" people.

As to your wife: you cannot change the past. It's done. You said some things and ti's done now. In the future, maybe you will say something different but do not dwell on it too much. It's not healthy.

(((( g450 ))))

[g450]

Thanks all,

Soleil you are right. It's done now. But it still bothers me that she has become this toxic to not just me but everyone except her fair weather friends.

This is what I am worried about, Her Mom is getting up there in age and her health is deteriorating slowly just like her late husband. I want to at least come to the hospital and funeral when this happens. I also wonder what will happen when my Son get's married and gives us grandchildren.

Will she really be that venomous that she will not show up for her own Mother's funeral? Her Son's wedding etc?

I have made up my mind that I will follow my heart and be damned what she thinks or wants. I just do not like the consequences of her decision. It hurts everyone.

[ClingingToHope]

The best revenge is a life well lived. Be the best you can be ... and what happens to her, happens to her.

[g450]

Well nothing new six months post divorce but a few things I wanted to post on that have touched my mind.

I found some undeveloped film at the house and realized that it was either my Son's or my XW's so I decided to get
them developed. I got them back and realized that they belonged to my XW so I dropped them in the mail too her.

I got a call from her today thanking me for sending them too her. She seemed pleasant but she did not discuss
anything other than say say thank you. This was a 180 departure from the venome she threw at me the last time she

called me (I am in NC so contact is extremely rare). So it was nice to hear the civil and courteouse side of her
once again. Not reading too much into this though.

Now the scarry part: I currently have a GF (39, separated, 3 kids). This woman has told me several times that she
would like to bear my last name. I have told her time and again that I refuse to ever marry again and that I have
only been divorced about six months now.

But she still keeps bringing it up. And we have only been dating for about a month. I like the girl and I see a
healthy LTR there but she is really moving a bit too fast for me.

To muddy the waters even further, this woman has been separated for four years. She is going to divorce her
(cheater) husband but is technically still married to him.

Cheater husband pays no child support for his own Son and lives with his new girlfriend in some other town.
I advised her to seek legal aid about a divorce or at least child support from him. He has paid nothing for the past four years. I could not believe this when she told me that she actually would send him money for his gambling habbit. Im not making this up.

I really like this woman and she is really sweet but this situation kind of worries me.

I know this isnt a dating web site but looking for some opinions on this. Any yes I have read the rebound thread.

[whatisis]

I'd be crapping my drawers if after dating a woman for a month she continually went on about wanting to bear my last name! Part of a R is respecting where the other person is at and if she is just ignoring what you're telling her then it's time for the R talk...(you know, the one us guys hate because it usually means we've screwed up in some way and don't know how to get out of it because we don't even know what the hell we did in the first place...yes, that one!) You could be the first guy to ever start that talk...be a trailblazer!

[g450]

Well then call mem a trailblazer because I actually did have "that talk" with her LOL.

But her comeback is to tell me that I will feel differently down the road. I told her NO!

I guess Ill just enjoy her company until she finally figures out that I am not a matrimonial prospect or a sugar-dady. And I will be guilt free because I did tell her so right from the start and several times afterwards.

Just don't want to break the girl's heart. I do NOT want to be the OM or my XW of sorts. That's not me. But I am guilty of dating a separated woman though. That's not something I will ever do again if this thing fizzles out.

At least I feel good knowing that she told me that I have been the nicest and most honest guy she has ever dated. That made me feel good. I am totally new to dating but I am starting to learn some hard learned lessons the hard way already. Scarry stuff.

[CityGirl]

Sweet or not... run like hell from this woman.

A separated woman (why stay separated for FOUR years?) with three children and a husband who does not pay support wants to get married? Gee, who could see any holes in THAT plan?

Honestly if you have decided you will never date a separated woman again why continue doing it now?

[soleil]

Breaking someone's heart and keeping yourself out of major drama are two separate things. You need to watch out for yourself in this case.

She needs to get a D and that is NOT your problem.

[whatisis]

Now that you're a trailblazer go all the way and tell her that you just feel that the two of you don't communicate, she just doesn't listen to you...I'm sure you, like all other guys, have heard that one before yourself. Use what you got! I think it must be a lot of pressure to date someone who has plans for you that you don't share and can only say in response "you'll change one day" Ooh, scary! Hey, maybe it's time for that old DB favourite "ILYBINILWY"... but then she'd probably say "that's OK because one day you will" Good luck to ya!

[g450]

I think you guys are right.

But I have a vested interest in her right now as she owes me some money and she is driving my truck to work. She is in bad shape financially and without transportation she could lose the only thing she has left...her job. I feel like I must help her. It's just the right thing to do.

Except for the whole thing with her being separated and wanting to marry a sugar daddy, we get along well and she is very loving. A total 180 from my XW in almost every way.

I only worry sometimes how much of her affection and love comes from her needing to be rescued financially etc.

I think I will give it another month. She is supposed to get her car back at the end of this September.

Man I hate dating. Just wish I could find somebody like her but who I did not have to rescue. My plan is to help her learn how to help herself. She just needs to take the reign. If she can't do that then I will have to have a different type of "talk". I don't look forward to that.