New Thread - Same Sitch

[steady]

Hi Sunny. Just want to make a comment about the posts over on that thread. I would have posted this but the thread was locked.

The whole problem is the argument about the anticipation of what the exposure to other people will mean to 'other people' as far as a reconciliation down the road.

The problem of it is this - you don't expose the affair to illicit some kind of response from the WAS. You do it for a purely selfish and personal reason - to draw a firm and enforceable boundary for one's own personal dignity and self respect. If someone is doing it to get some kind of effect, they are setting themselves up for a big disappointment.

The reason given by the anti-exposure people is based on a 'guess' of what will happen down the road as far as reconciliation. If I exposed an A and my WAS got pissed off and her family thought I was nuts, then so be it. My decisions and life are not going to be ruled by their opinion or reaction to my decisions. Otherwise, I'm handing over my personal power to the opinions of others and nothing more than a 'guess' of what the future impact will be.

It's utter stupidity for any one of us to believe we can somehow predict how our decisions and actions will impact any person or situation based on the mere fact there are thousands of variable which are uncontrollable.

If my outing an A for to a WAS's family somehow is a catalyst to ending my M then so be it. If the decision is based purely on a personal boundary and a healthy decision to preserve my own dignity then I can still stand with my head held high and say I did the right thing.

These people pretend they can somehow control the outcome of a situation based on how they behave. It's actually utter nonsense in my opinion.

For me, outing the A is the only way to go.