Game Point

[tryingtilDorR]

Wow - its been 2 months since I have posted. I wanted to log an update but hadn't realized how much time has gone by.

I still very much wish my M could have been saved, and I still believe that ANYTHING is fixable as long as both partners have a desire to do it. However, my WAW never had that or couldn't turn away from her EA/PA to face things for the sake of our M and family.

That said, as chronicled above, she rented her own place in April, moved out part-time right away and then nearly-full time in mid-June. I got reports of her being seen with OM and I filed for D on 7/2. Had her served 7/22.

It's been 3 months since she has been out of the house nearly full time. I say nearly because she comes back here to stay when I travel "because the kids like it here". I was angry abotu this, but my L said she can even move back in and I just need to get the D finalized.

Other than that, its been the best 3 months I have had in many years. What a relief. I mentioned earlier that I met someone in late june, and we are still seeing each other and its looking very promising for us. I didn't want to get serious with someone right away but we really enjoy each other's company and she is very sympathetic to my situation since she went through a D 5 years ago. She is very aware of what WAW and my kids are going through right now.

WAW hasn't tried to bring OM around my kids, and I haven't brought my OW around them either yet. I don't think WAW would bring OM around them for a looooong time because once she is 'publicly' with the guy it will prove all the things she has denied for so long (no EA/PA, blah blah ). I think he is probably happy not being publicly with her either since everyone in town has heard they were having an A. I think their strategy is to let a lot of time go by so that everyone forgets about all that, but it won't happen. Who knows, maybe she will meet someone else because he will never be willing to step up to the plate with her. Therefore, I imagine I will be bring OW around my kids sooner but not yet.

WAW has shown signs of regret and panic over loss of control over the past few months, as predicted. At times it seemed like a complete reversal of roles, with her contacting me/texting me incessantly about just about everything - kids, house, etc etc. Most of the time I don't reply unless it is something about the kids. She hasn't tried to R, however. Even if she wanted to she would be too proud I think to admit this. She has even gone as far as suggesting that we still do holidays together, etc. I couldn't believe it.

I have found there are not a lot of good men out there and most of you who have steadfastly tried to save your M will have no trouble finding someone else if that is what you are looking for. I wasn't looking for it aggressively but it looks like I did find it and feel like she is truly a gift brought into my life right when I was ready to receive it.

We still haven't negotiate final agreement. I am now interested in just selling our house and starting over somewhere else, but the kids are attached to the place (which means she is as well in a way).

I feel like I have been through Hell, but am now on the march out and can see a bright light at the end of the tunnel.

You WILL be better off regardless of the outcome of your M - believe it. I am a better partner than I could have ever been before now that I have gone through this traumatic experience. OW and I talk about this a lot because she went through a D as well and is the same. Now i am helping my kids through it and sorting out the financial damage.