I just can't take it anymore

[james217]

if your needs are consistently being neglected and you're expressing them to your partner are they showing you love? nope. but you should fulfill your own needs and what they bring to the table adds to it. Love is a choice it's a want. Everyone wants it. But if you can't love yourself enough to not settle for what isn't love then you'll never have what love is. And if you don't demand or even know what you want or love yourself how can someone give you love or even try to fulfill the needs/wants you have? they can't. until i figured out what I wanted I was settling. I finally got tired of settling and said this is what I want. If the person doesn't have at least 90 percent of these qualities/traits then it's not gonna work

This sounds more like my W than me. I have always been pretty happy with who I am. In my case, she wasn't getting what she needed, but I believe that it was because she wasn't expresseing it (you should have known) and maybe she doesn't really know what she wants either.

I don't feel like I was settling or would settle, but maybe I haven't grown enough yet either.

Thanks!

yea it can BE ON EITHER SIDE. if she's not communicating her needs then how can you fulfill them? it's bs when your spouse doesn't give you a chance but you also have to pay attention to her body language. like 80 percent of communication is nonverbal. we tend to get comfortable as humans and stop doing everything that drew our spouses/partners to use in the first place