Blindsided, Just served with papers!

[TimeHeals]

I have done more of the Robx approach, which I dont think I can change now

Maybe I am missing something.

I don't think you should even want to be married to somebody who is bent on divorcing you

How is that different? Just because you say, "Look, I don't want THIS anymore either", doesn't mean you can't be nice and even charming, and being nice and charming doesn't mean you are going to roll over and not do what is best for you or reward bad behavior.

The beauty of detaching completely, loving your own life, being grateful for every moment you get and working for a better life for yourself and your kids is... it opens up all of the options.

She wants to be grumpy, and if it isn't affecting you personally, it stops bothering you.

I can see there is some issue about the kids to work out here, but... we kind of saw that coming with the comments about your former "bachelor pad" (she telegraphed that intention), and that's why folks told you to get another place... so... now what is the reason?

You need to explore all of your legal options here. If nothing else, an attorney will help assure that you don't shoot yourself in the foot on child custody issues.

She has been out ahead of you for a while. She had made up her mind to leave and take the kids long before you saw what her plan was.

The solution for the immediate situation is to understand this and be better prepared, I think.