I read up a bit in your thread on page one...here are a few questions that I need some information on:

How old are you and XH?
How long married?
Divorce finalized in12/09, right?
Bomb dropped sometime in 2008, right?
1 OW in 2009?
Traumatic event: mother's Alzheimer's disease (any death?)

Is this the correct "short" version of your sitch?