Dealing with Jealousy

[Nvrgivup]

I was hoping to get some advice on how to deal with the extreme jealousy I'm feeling. My wife has recently admitted to being in a relationship with an OM. We have been separated about one year as of now. I believe this relationship has been going on for aprox. 3 months? I had actually brought it up to her about 4 months ago, and she continued to vehemently deny it for the first little while, she finally "announced" it to me about a month and a half ago, and to our children about a week later. I am following the advice I have received here, and read in DB. As little contact as possible, no pursuing etc. My problem is really with jealousy! I am trying to follow the program, trying hard not to even think about them being together, but I am struggling. I feel like I wanna kill this guy at times. The thought of my wife being with another man physically, is infuriating, and sickening! I've tried keeping busy, GALing, and distractions, but none seems to help for any length of time. I find especially when I go to bed, I am fixating on it.
My question is, has anybody else felt this way, and have you found any methods that seem to help? I keep thinking that it is just a matter of time, but it seems when the feeling comes it is just as intense as the day I found out (for sure, because, initially her denial of him was comforting in a way). I'm not a violent person, and I would never follow through on anything, but I seriously would like to do this guy serious harm at times. My friends suggestion was to find an OW of my own and that will cure it, but I know that I am not ready for that, and as we are still married at this point I feel like that would be counter productive. What do I do?