Spoke to my stepmom today--my dad should pass sometime today they said.
I just really don't want to go up there--my H is like "your family is so effed up". I didn't say anything but I thought about that..
Later I went to him and said "Look, your family is not better than my family. Your sister didn't visit your Gmother even ONE time the last year before she died. You have NO room to talk." He was all apologetic and sorry.
Weird how he backs down to me now. Wish I'd had that reaction before when we were married!
Hey Kat, D4ML, thank you so, so much for the support. I have to call my stepmom soon to see "what's happening" and I'm dreading it!
Oh, the apologizing is quite new--I am used to all the nonsense that they say around here as they are leaving. My H told me only 2 or so days ago that his sister, his mother, and his 2 good friends "heard" me say at Xmas last year at his parents (this was when we were just to start C in Jan) that I was going to date a "hot young guy".
OMG!! MY sister was there, and my sister-in-law, and they heard NOTHING like that!! The ONLY thing that I could think of was I told my sister she needed to play paintball, because there were a TON of hot, young guys there. (My sister has been single for years and is very athletic)
He said months ago his mother heard it--now it has turned into all these "other" people. I have no doubt his one friend embelished it all--he is all about drama and LOVES to embelish stories.
In other words, they say all kinds of things--but they also forget about it--so many times you'll hear people say "remember when you said XYZ" and they have almost no memory of it--it happened with my H as well. The things he said 6 years ago he has forgotten.
It is thought that anger and guilt are intertwined. The more outrageous the things they say, the worse their guilt.
Well, it's not just future ex's that can go completely out of their minds and behave in ways that leave you shaking in your boots.
My stepmother (whom I liked!!) has shown herself to be greedy and manipulative.
She's been selling my dad's things and he has "nothing". Rolexes were "stolen by someone" 2 years ago. Expensive golf sets--gone. This is only the 3rd day--who knows what else I'll find!
The will my dad did with her left her everything until her death, and then half of what's left supposedly will come to my sister, I and my S. Yeah, that isn't happening. I already found the loophole and though she "swears" she will carry out my dad's wishes, I won't be holding my breath. She already is in love with someone else (I wrote about it a while ago--he is a good guy and WAY too good for her AND MARRIED!!) But that didn't stop her from going after my dad!!
I have had chest pain and panic attacks every night for the past 3 nights--I am more upset about her doing what she is doing than my H! She continues to BALDFACE LIE about what has happened to my dad's things and money. My dad at one time was a very successful attorney. He was a member of the Supreme Court!
Then on top of it all I put out some rat poison in the barn and the dog got ahold of it and I had to rush him to the vet's. $300 later...he is fine.
My H has been pretty good through all of this. He has done things for me and taken over on a lot of stuff that normally he never would.
So basically she has been siphoning off his funds and possesions for quite some time it seems. Then when she passes there won't be anything left of your fathers possesions. Im am furious for you and sad at the same time.
Should be a good lesson for loved ones. If you want someone to have something that is special between the two of you, pass it on while you still have it together.
I am surprised that your Dad didn't plan things out better. Was his will changed recently?
Big hugs Laura.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
