MLC - standing by my man

[Mila]

SA, Punkin, GAG & Eric - Thank you for so much for your support.

SA -

H's guilt is so heavy that when you bring up business problems he feels personally attacked

I believe that this is very true....and I don't know how to address difficult issues without him taking it as a personal attack. He just doesn't want to deal with the realities and the consequences of his actions....he thinks that if he ignores the problem and "thinks positive" it will all work out and all problems will disappear.

The economy of course is a factor in business downturn, but so are his actions in the past year and half. We went through economic down-turns previously and pulled through working really hard...and working as partners, with our hearts and souls invested in it. Since he started his affair...year and half ago....it has all changed....now he is a mental wreck...I was a wreck....all of that has taken it's toll on business.
Punkin -

It's a crap shoot all the way around

You got that right....
GAG -

he may be having a genuine break with reality

I think that he is in over his head....he got himself into a situation that he can't cope with....the quilt he feels must be tremendous...the cheating and lying, betraying his wife and best friend, leaving his family, breaking up OW's family, responsibility he must feel for the other woman, the break down of our business, the financial crisis this is causing. This is too much to handle for a guy that was always a supper responsible guy, committed husband, fantastic father and a guy that measured his worth by always trying to do the right thing.

He feels so bad about himself, that every time we get into a discussion he keeps saying...you think that I'm a looser, you think that I'm scum for what I have done, I know that you hate me....and similar self depriciating statements.

By saying all of those things I think that he is projecting how he feels about himself. I never once said anything like that to him....the opposite...every time he starts saying that, I tell him that I don't hate him, that I don't think any of those things about him.

Eric - Thanks for the confirmation that I'm not alone with the anger resurfacing....I really thought that that stage was behind me....but apparently not. Still don't feel like talking to him...he'd sent me a least 4 emails a day since Friday...I ignored them all. But I guess I have to reply today....have to put that fake smile back on and continue soldiering.

Plan B for me is to start looking for a job....just in case

Hope everyone is doing good, wish you all a fantastic day

((((hugs))))