[Thinker]

Hi SP,

Ouch! I know the feeling. I live in a town full of big deal stock brokers with fancy cars and houses and vacations. I make good money, but they make that x10. This is without question the directly the stbx Mrs. T's eyes have wandered.

...and it hurts

...and it takes a direct shot at your self worth, but...


Think in a different paradigm:

• Her unhappiness in the marriage was not about you. It was about her. She is unhappy. Nothing you did, or could have done, could change that.
• To avoid looking at her own internal reasons for her unhappiness, she split you black and demonized you. It wasn't because of how tall you are or how many books you did or didn't write or because of how much you did or didn't earn. It's because she blames her internal unhappiness on the person closest to her and then looks for reasons to justify it.
• She's not going to change. She'll still be an unhappy person. She's still going to blame the person she's with for her own internal issues.
• He may well be a "Splendid Fellow", but you can replace that with "Poor Sucker!". Sooner or later, she will demonize him just like she's demonized you.
• When she does split him black, he'll get the same treatment you have. The same blame. The same irrational rages. The same denigration and belittlement. The same affairs.

Let go, stop blaming yourself. I've been on this forum with you now for close to 2 years, and have far more respect for you as a person than any google-title rich bigshot.

Take care of yourself and Themselves.

-Thinker